Thoughts.

I would say that my first week in school isn't really hectic at all, since I only had 2 modules to clear and it was just introduction week.

But in my mind was raging another battle.

For the past week I just couldn't stop thinking about everyone back home, and honestly speaking, I got really lonely in my room at times. Sometimes I just wake up in the morning and feel really empty. All my friends and family are back in Singapore, and here I am in my cold room, all by myself. It just gets to me sometimes, not that it is so serious until I want to fly back at this moment, but it is at this time that I feel very vulnerable. I only met and made 2 friends in school who at the very most say 'hi' and 'bye' for now, and it is very uneasy to know that there is one whole semester of chemistry subjects ahead.

Even though I got to know really good people here in my Urban Life (Lifegroup), and they are a really, really nice and cool group of people who loves God and people, I still have that sinking feeling of uncertainty in the journey ahead. I still feel that I'm going to fight this 2 years of study battles alone. Yesterday, I wished so much that I was at FOP. Next week, I wish so much that I will be at Big Day Out. Also, my LG back in Singapore just had a shift, and now my LG is combined with Outlive. There is just so much that I'm missing out. I wasn't able to see the video and camera crew from IL giving their very best at FOP (I'm so proud of them!). I wasn't able to meet my new LG members. I just feel so....arrrrrgh.

However, God started to remind me about faith once again when I went to service this morning.

Pastor Sheryl Brady was sharing about faith, and through the sermon, God was driving down everything into my mind again. I seemed to have completely forgotten that He is my Provider, my Strength, my Wisdom, my Protector. In fact, it is just week 1, and I already feel so shaken and drained. But it is only through trials that my faith can go on to another level. My faith can never advance in calm and peaceful situations. It can only advance in the fiery furnace. I want to be at a point where my heart is completely reliant on God, that no matter what happens, He is ALL that I need!

At that moment, everything seemed to make sense again on why I am here. God gave me that push, that reminder that He is in control.

"...Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." - Joshua 1:9