To be honest...

It's raining now.

I like rain, cos' it trickles back memories of the past, as they pour under the gray clouds, being scattered to every corner of the designated area.

It's kinda funny.

People has always looked at me as a person who never failed to smile, and that should have characterised me as a 'sunny' person lol.

I do admit that I'm a simple person, really. I have nothing much to hide, I am quite open to anyone who is interested to know about my past. (Except for some super embarassing moments haha)

But to say the truth, there are times where...I really don't feel like smiling. Not in a negative way, but just that sometimes it's getting tiring to smile all the time.

It has been to the point where I covered up my true emotions subconsciously just by smiling. It's very unnatural. God created humans. Not smileys.

I didn't want to let my friends get affected by what I've been through. I told myself that no matter what, my friends take priority. I cannot let them feel sad too. I need to be 'happy' in front of them.

But I feel that this self-appointed task has started to become exhausting. Even though sometimes I do have Dru where I can easily share my problems to, I can't possibly get suitable guidance from him when some parts of my true self are still missing.

I need to find those missing parts back.