Wrenched times.

Staring in space on my bed; chair,
I wondered what could have happened?
And why.

I hate this feeling, just hate it.

Everytime seeing chances slipping by,
Chances of something positive,
But yet I had been hit at a vital spot.

Taken for granted?
I nearly wanted to think that people are betraying my feelings at times.
But I know,
They are good friends,
I trust them.

Not daring to do something?
I detest my soft spots.
If only I had even at least a pinch of courage.

Not being able to comply?
What is wrong with me.
Why can't I listen to something so simple.
Why can't my actions listen to me.

Repeating someting over and over?
Everytime I told myself that I'm not doing this for man,
And yet my attitude negates it.
Can't you get over it, self?
I'm getting tired of this.

Thinking too much?
Something that was not real,
Became true.
Why am I so troubled by something non-existent?

My mind's in a whirl sometimes,
Just wanna rant things out here,
Sorry.

Troubling yet I choose to tackle it on my own,
I don't want people to get affected over me.
Sometimes I even thought of not sharing my problems with God too,
Lack of trust? Purely not letting go?
I don't know, I really don't know.

I rather implode than bringing others down.